20 Nov Lessons I’ve learned From Losing My Mom
If I’ve learned anything from losing my Mom, it’s been the lessons I didn’t expect. I expected to remember the things she taught me – like, being kind, and how a meal at Mexican Restaurant will probably cure anything – especially the common cold.
But I thought it would be fun to talk about the lessons I didn’t expect. The lessons that I surprised me, changed me, and influenced me.
Here are the lessons I didn’t expect. One, GET IN THE PICTURE, MOM! Losing my mom taught me that I do not have enough pictures of her. Pictures of her with me, pictures of her with my siblings and my dad, and pictures of just her. I do not have enough pictures. I need more and that is no longer possible. So, instead, I take those group selfies with my kids. Lots of group selfies. It’s the gift I want for myself and one I can pass on to my kids…for the future.
Second lesson, I share stories of her with my kids. My mom will never be the grandmother she dreamed of being, but I can share the stories of her that make me laugh and bring me joy with my kids. Facebook memories recently shared this little memory and it reminded me that sharing my Mom with my husband and my kids when she comes to is such a gift for ME.
From 2016: “Just caught Zoe spitting out her peas. “That is disgusting!”
Me (laughing): You are just like my mom! She hated peas.”
Zoe (still gagging): “My mom likes all the bad things.” 😂😂”
Third, when I grieve, when I miss her so much it hurts, I don’t hide that from my children. It would be easier to do so, reason says my kids are young and they don’t need to see their mom upset. But, I disagree. They need to see what a special woman my Mom was and how much I miss her. How I wish they could know her.
Fourth, I go on adventures with my kids. Mom wanted to travel, she wanted to go and see and do. Shortly after she got sick, she took my sisters and I on a girls only camping trip to the beach. It was a great time. Like my Mom, I also want to travel, but if I can’t do that all the time like The Bucket List Family, I can make adventures in our backyard. So, I try to turn everything and anything into adventures and fun for my kids.
Losing my Mom wasn’t ideal and it was a road I never wanted to travel. But, here I am, traveling on. When I think about the memories and the lessons I’ve learned, this difficult road of losing my Mom has shown me that even in the midst of dark moments, there are a lot of sweet moments too.